Forever in Our Arms

Natalie at the Temple of the Six Banyan Trees, Guangzhou

In Baba's arms

Every mother remembers the first time she held her child. I can’t believe that it was a year ago today for me. When Stephen and I woke up that morning in Zhengzhou, getting ready for the moments to come, we felt just as we had expected to feel—excited, restless, nervous. We’d been meeting a guide each morning since we’d arrived in China, but this morning when we met our guide, Rita, in the hotel lobby for the ride over to the registration office, the air was electric. We were already anxious to meet our daughter, and when we pulled into the parking lot, Rita informed us that there was a van from Luoyang there. My heart skipped a beat. Was she already inside?

We walked in, and there was an orphanage worker there with an infant girl about Natalie’s age. But it wasn’t her. We had to wait for a while, and I’m sure it really wasn’t that long, but you know how those things go. Stephen and I sat on a black couch and watched the door for any sign of movement outside. My hands were uncontrollable; I’d never been so fidgety. My nervous bladder got the better of me, and I made a quick dash to the “squatty potty” (with strict instructions from Stephen that I’d better hurry!). I didn’t want anything to spoil our first moments with our long-awaited little girl.

A van pulled up, not even pulling into a parking spot, and several nannies from the orphanage in Luoyang got out carrying children. Then we caught our first glimpse of her, in real life, and not just in the same two referral pictures we’d been obsessing over during the past two months. Of course I wanted to hold her immediately, but Natalie was a bit hesitant to leave the nanny’s arms for those of this strange-looking white girl. The biggest surprise: during our years of waiting, I’d watch other families’ videos of when they first met their children in China, think about our own upcoming first meeting, and cry rivers. But when it finally happened for us—not a single tear. Natalie didn’t cry either; maybe I took my lead from her. She seemed so stoic, although I’m sure she was terrified. For me, I suppose it just felt . . . right. There was no room for tears in this moment. Everything had finally fallen into place and we three had found each other. But oh, holding her the first time . . . the emptiness in my heart had finally been filled.

That first night, as I held her and attempted to sing her a lullaby in the darkness of the hotel room, the tears came. Some may recognize the words and understand why: “They didn’t have you where I come from; never knew the best was yet to come; life began when I saw your face. . . .”

Indeed it did; our lives changed so dramatically for the better. Natalie Xue Er has brought an immeasurable amount of joy to our lives and to everyone she meets. I cannot fathom life without her. Sure, there are days when she drives me crazy, when we need to be somewhere else and she runs away,  giggles trailing behind her, when I need to (a) help her dry her hands, (b) fix her hair, or  (c) outfit her with a diaper (my personal favorite!). But then I remember other parents saying that there is no love like that you have for your child. I used to wonder what that would feel like. Now I know, and it’s indescribable how all-encompassing it is.

Natalie, our sweet girl, we’re so fortunate to have the honor of being your parents. Happy Forever Family Day.

July 4th and other summer fun

I could babble on for awhile about what has been going on, but I know what you really want is pictures.

Who am I kidding?  You know I have to say some things.  Those of you who haven't seen Natalie in awhile would be very impressed with how she has grown lately.  I am not just talking about size, although she does seem to be a foot taller every week.  Her personality is really starting to flourish, as is her vocabulary. She is forming complete sentences and using the proper pronouns and occasionally the correct tense.  It really is amazing.  Here are some examples.

While lying in bed going through the nighttime routine, I turned to say something and she lowered the book she was holding and promptly told me, "Quiet, Baba.  I tryin' to reading."

We were really impressed with this one: "Mama, please open the door; I can't."

When Amy told her the microwave wasn't working right, she responds "Well, haffa get a new one."  While haffa isn't exactly an English word, it is still real cute.

We are just so proud of her and astounded at how far she has come.  Enough with my talk and on with the show, I suppose.  In these you will see just some general summer pics as well as shots with her friend Lily at the grand fireworks show at the LaRue County Sportsman's Lake on Saturday.  Seriously, it really was a great display put on by Lily's Uncle Andy and we had a good time.  There are pics from a gathering at my parents' on Sunday.  Finally, some shots with Amy's family on the 4th.

2nd Birthday - Epic fail

OK, it wasn't exactly horrible, but it didn't go anywhere near as planned.  The good thing is, I doubt Natalie knew the difference.  She seemed to enjoy it very much.  Thanks to all our family members that came and celebrated with Natalie.  We are blessed to have a great daughter and she is blessed to have a family that loves her so much.

But yeah, seriously, the party did not go well for the parents at least.  We spent hours upon hours on Friday and Saturday morning getting things looking nice and pretty outside.  The weather was fabulous that morning.  Everyone arrived and it still looked great.  Then the storm came.  We kind of knew some rain was in the forecast, but did it have to be a full on storm and could it not have waited for a few more hours?  So, all that hard work outside for nothing.  The decorations were mostly shredded by the winds and rain.  We had to rush and get all the food, presents, and people inside.  

Our house IS NOT built to accommodate 26 people including 5 kids.  It instantly got very hot and very loud in there.  

Like I  said though, Natalie didn't seem to mind it at all.  She enjoyed opening her presents with all those people there watching.  She didn't quite understand why her cake was on fire and why this was OK.  She also didn't know why people were singing to her before she got to eat the cake.  If everything tied to this event wasn't such a "disaster," then you would be able to see a video of these events.  It chooses not to upload for some reason.  

Amy and I were so busy running around trying to keep things in order and moving things inside from the rain that we weren't able to get hardly any pictures.  Of the birthday pictures attached, two were taken by our friend Tim.  In an effort to not disappoint her fans by only posting one or two photos, I included some from Memorial Day as well.  Enjoy.

Thank for the photo, Tim.

Her first splashes in the pool for the summer.  By the end of it, her shirt and pants were both soaked.

She has some amusing looks.

This child loves her "melwon."  Notice all the juice collecting in the bib pocket.

Beach

We had a great trip to Florida.  Natalie did just fine on the plane even though we had to wake her up at 4 am to drive to the airport.  We thought she would sleep on the drive and on the plane.  How do you think that went?

She was excited to get to the beach and was never scared of just being in the sand even with all the people around.  Once she went to the water, she was OK as long as the waves never got above knee level.  She would let us carry her out deeper as long as we held her above the water for the most part. 

It really was a good time.  Amy and I loved the time we got to spend with her and with each other.  Not having to pick up after her, cook dinner, pick up after her, try to keep her busy and out of stuff, and pick up after her was vacation enough.

Enjoy the pics and video.  Sorry the audio isn't great on the video, but I didn't know how the mic would react to the wind.  

We will get some birthday stuff up after her party with family on Saturday.

Coolin' off

She thought this Sand Dollar was a "chip."

Chillin'

Oh, That Day ~ Amy

Happy Mother’s Day to every woman who has touched the life of a child! Whether you’re a mother through adoption, foster care, or birth, or whether you’re a special aunt or a good friend to a child, this is your day! And for those who are still waiting for a child, we all stand behind you. I know this day can be difficult to get through.

For years I wondered when it would be my turn to celebrate Mother’s Day—for me—not because I’m selfish and want the attention and praise (those who know me well know that this is clearly not the case). I only wanted it so badly because it would mean that Stephen and I had our longed-for child. And now we do. And what a difference that has made. While I certainly celebrated the women in my life each year on this day, the day was overshadowed by the little girl who was missing from our lives. This time last year, we had no clue that in a couple of weeks we would receive the only news we had been waiting for.

I would be remiss if I didn’t pay tribute to the women in Natalie’s life before she came to be in our family. There are times when I look down on Natalie’s face and almost feel as though I am looking into her birthmother’s eyes. Our little girl will look at us sometimes as if she seems to know more than she can express. It’s my hope that her birthmother’s heart is at peace and somehow knows that Natalie is safe and loved and will be given every opportunity. Natalie wouldn’t be here with us without her, and I will always remember her sacrifice.

It’s become clear to us that Natalie flourished under the loving care of her foster mother, Julia (and her husband, Marvin). Comforted (relieved?) cannot begin to describe how we felt when we learned that Natalie had been nurtured and loved by this couple. We’re so grateful for all that they gave, on so many levels, to her.

So here we are on the day that celebrates motherhood. I’m glad to be a part of it, and I’m even happier that I get to spend all my days with, as Natalie would say, my “awesome” daughter. I was awoken one morning recently by being tickled, accompanied by “Tickle, tickle. Wake up, Mama.” I turned to see her grinning face and thought that it doesn’t get much sweeter than that.

Lots going on

Lots of stuff happening for Natalie.  Of course, there was Easter and her first Easter egg hunt.  She picked it up quickly.  However, once she figured out there was stuff in the eggs, she was much more concerned about getting them all open.  There are pictures below.

Coming up, we have Mother's Day.  Amy promises to make a blog post, I am sure everyone is looking forward to that.  

We are heading to the beach next week.  Down to Florida for 4 days.  Can't wait to see how Natalie takes to  a real beach.  Hopefully, it won't be "too wet."  

Finally, Natalie's birthday is coming up.  She turns 2 on May 16th.  Believe me, we are very aware of her being 2.  Those wonderful behaviors are all around.  She is really growing into her personality though.  Such a cute and amazing girl.  

Quick story.  This morning, when Amy got out of bed to go get Natalie some milk, Natalie (as she usually does when Amy leaves the room) started asking for Mama to come back and  "hold you."  I said "Natalie, Mama will be right back.  Hold Baba."

"No," was her quick reply.

"Please?"

She then turns to me and says "OK. I try."  Not many things will make me laugh at 5 am, but this one got me. 

This girl loves shoes. 

Family

This past week we took a trip to south Georgia.  We went with my parents, oldest brother, and his two kids. While I can't say it was an exciting trip, I can say I had a relaxing time and that ain't bad.  I think it was great for Natalie though.  First, she got to see me more (no leaving for work).  How could that not be good for her?  Second, she got to spend lots of time with some of her forever family.  The time with my parents and her cousins was really good for her bonding.  I think her Uncle David just plain scares her, but that makes sense.  Bonding is a two way street though and I am glad those that went got to spend so much time with her.  If that last sentence makes Uncle Jason and Aunts Leslie and Karen feel a little guilty for not coming, so be it.  ;)

I can really see a change in Natalie when it comes to bonding.  She is playing the "scared" card a lot with any loud noises.  We are trying to figure out if she is really scared or not, but regardless, she turns to one of us to hold her.  She will often say "safe" once she is in our arms.  How great is that?  She has also very recently started to tell one of us "miss you" when we show up after being gone for a bit.  That melts a heart for sure.

So, here are a bunch of pictures from the trip.  More than I usually post, but they were too cute to cut out.

Natalie with her Papa

Natalie with her cousin Tyler (look at their hands)

With her cousin Raegan. 

Natalie made her first trip to a "beach."  This is a small swimming area at the lake.  It was a good test though for how she will handle a real beach (trip to FLA next month!)

Natalie and Mama having a good time.

Does this look like a girl that is happy to be in the car on her way back to KY?